I’m really really tired. Finished the English common test thingy today and thought that the passages just were so so uncreative, unimaginative and downright boring. No one in this day and age would bother about some far fetched mugging by robbers occurring in outer Siberia or the capture and shooting of buffalo on the Great Plains. It’s really not interesting and therefore I’m uninterested. Period. By the way, it takes quite a fair bit to actually enthuse me, as Chongren would have found out.

The Streats today was loaded with slimming ads. I have come up with a hypothesis-the most slimming ads come out on Wednesday. It’s because women, being women, will take Thursday and Friday to think about it, then finally go for their “no forced dieting” and  no forced exercise” slimming sessions on Saturday and Sunday, where they are pressure cooked and steamed to get oil that oil out. Women are creatures of such elegiac disparity, call one a chicken and she’ll most probably slap you, but she herself ones to be treated most foul, foul that is being subjected to produce Brand’s chicken essence. Women…

Coming back to Streats, we cut out those little pictures of women who pretend to have lost weight and stuck them onto our Page Three Board.( Page Three being the page in The Sun where Jordan poses topless). Our poor cutouts are subjected to disfiguration, head and limb transplant and extreme makeovers. Survivors include a Shrek head with a woman’s body and three Jacelyn Tay clones with razor blades at each if their spindly chicken necks. Oh yes, and Fann Wong having a tryst with Gollum. Simply divine. (As Lizzy Foo goes, “Sin Sin!...You were tempted by the devil…but u gave in!!!!!”……It really sounded like the class killed somebody when all we did was to go for lunch when she didn’t turn up for her period.)

While I languish away in Tan PH’s Chinese bu ke, my mind drifts away to thoughts of self getting married with beyonce’s crazy in love playing in the background. Can’t quite picture the guy though. Oh yes, I watched My Best Friend’s Wedding the other day and boy must I say, I got really really sent to the doldrums once more…I’m so depressed that I’m all by myself…a la Jasmine “I got eliminated” Trias.

Oh , I have to add this bit… A certain staunch Jasmine Trias supporter (hint: He’s really really really really really FAT and has boobs like Pamela Anderson (whose show VIP is one of my favourites) has started to treat me like a dog, the way I put it. To this darling porky, all I have top say is that I don’t really give half a pork-fuck and will from now onwards treat you like what the report book dictated… like a SEVERELY OVERWEIGHT asshole…read: I’ll ignore you. Bitch! At the end of the day I’m just a faggot, but you have your reputation to lose, with all your little house members who don’t quite know how to address you as KANG MAR and actually look up to you. How mislead.

I’m so sleepy, have a Maths test tomorrow and have to cut my nails. Oh god! What could be worse…It’s really fortunate that there’s American Idol tonight so as to give me reason to live. My existence is meagre.

(pardon any mistakes whatsoever in this piece. Both sides of my brain are zonked out)

Have a nice day everyone!!! (spreading cheer prior to self going into coma)