Chong Ren called me up when I was at Lim Chu Kang yesterday. Apparently he went to Woon Leng to find me but I was no longer there by the time he came. He didn’t tell me he was coming anyway, so I didn’t bother. I’ve actually started to ignore him and block him out. Telling him that I could meet him in Lim Chu Kang would only cause me more emotional problems, so I was not furnishing him with any details of my whereabouts.

I don’t see why I should not be ignoring him. He ignores me the rest of the week, together with his sidekick Benjamin and I’m totally oblivious to them anyway. What gets me is that he suddenly calls me up and expects my attention when he’s ignoring me all along. I’m jolly well not going to give it. Why should I? He can go on ignoring me and vice versa. It’s an attitude problem. He thinks we are friends still, but honestly, the friendship is crumbling and it’s entirely up to him to make it or break it. How can two people be friends still if one is ignoring the other while I try to talk to him, keeping himself occupied with Benjamin? I’m really sick and tired of this. He can save the friendship if he wants. I’ll be receptive. An apology maybe, from someone who claims he is always doing everything right and must get his way? I’ve saved the friendship too many times because it was mainly my fault. Now, it’s his turn. If he doesn’t take the initiative or bother, I’m prepared to let it all pass. I won’t say anymore, neither would I call him. I’m spent.

Ryan Su - Spinster and Lunatic. No longer. I’ve taken control of my life. I’ve got other wonderful friends and I’m positively somewhere. That’s all that matters. And to Chongren, who thinks otherwise, I beg to differ. Not everyone thinks I’m mad, unapproachable, sluttish and bitchy. Some people can look beyond the surface and appreciate me for who I am. It is only with them, that I’m willing to give my all and prove them right. I’m not as dumb as I may appear to be. You can very well reprocess the fact that I’m a stupid ditz and have no clue what I’m doing if you want. Don’t take this to heart, it’s not like I’m throwing my temper at you without a reason, it’s just that you are avoiding me and I’m just playing along. Our friendship could break anytime and it’s up to you to salvage it. Ever since Penang, we haven’t talked much, it’s a problem with you, not me. I’ve tried approaching you. Don’t blame me or environmental conditions. Blame yourself. And by the way, I’m entirely supportive about you and your bf and it’s not about that, but rather, our degenerating friendship. He’s quite cute anyway. Call me. It’s not too late.